Pastor and People

In our thinking about the duties and demands of a pastor we often forget what a heavy load is carried by the pastors’ wife. She is often swept into the shadows as we elevate the pastor as the only one needing mentoring, training, and direction. It is said by many modern-day churches that the pastor and his wife share in a ‘co-pastorate’ of the church. I have seen signs with a picture of the happy couple advertising them as ‘Pastors’ or ‘Co-Pastors’. However, this is not the biblical role or mandate of the pastors’ wife. The pastorate of a church is for Godly men who have been called by God into such a high position. Even though it is not biblical for the wife to be a ‘co-pastor’ it is biblical for the wife to support her husband in the ministry and maintain an active ministry role in the church by being a Godly example to all other women and help-mate to her husband.

The wife of a pastor carries many burdens and also wears many hats. She is often asked to fill the vacant nursery spot, the empty choir chair, or cook the extra dish for the pot-luck dinner. She is kept in the dark about confidential conversations that go on between her husband and others in the church. She is ridiculed and examined by busy-bodies in the church for the way she dresses and mother’s her children. Never think this is an easy job. To be the wife of a pastor takes a special God-called women who is of noble character with the ‘patience of Job’.

There are many hats worn by the pastors’ wife and many obligations in which she should attend as her husband shepherds the flock. Below you will find a small list of some responsibilities that fall at her feet.

1. She should be a help-mate and biggest supporter of her husband. The first role she carries is paramount and necessary for the successful ministry of her husband. She is his solace when ministry gets tough and hard. She is his comfort when he feels alone and down-trodden. She is his vacation from the endless demands of ministry.

2. She should be a Godly mother. Like it or not the eyes of every church member are on the pastors’ wife and her motherly skills. She should display the utmost Godly character in how she teaches and trains her children. She should give Godly discipline, correction and guidance for her children. She should teach her children the importance of their father’s calling and ministry. She should teach her children to love the church, to love ministry, and to cherish Christ as their supreme satisfaction.

3. She should be a mentor to younger women. Not only should the pastors’ wife have mentors in her own life, but she should also mentor younger women in the church. Discipleship should be her main ministry in the church. She should pour her life into the lives of the women around her through various ministry opportunities.

4. She should be an example to all. The pastors’ wife will often set the tone and effectiveness of her husbands’ ministry. For example, if the pastor and his wife fight before Sunday morning worship the congregation will be able to tell there are issues the moment he steps into the pulpit. It is the pastors’ wife that watch-guards the life of her husband and the lives of her children. She is to be an example of character, virtue, holiness, righteousness, integrity, faithfulness, and love.

Church - let us love our pastors’ wives and recognize her for what she is. Pastors - love your wives and honor her, love her, and show her your appreciation for all she does. If you are a pastors’ wife - Thank You!