Pastor and People

One mark of an excellent ministry is not the size of your church, the number of baptisms per year, the programs and various committees, but if your children grow up to love and adore the church. From the time they are born a pastors’ child is the center of attention in the church and cannot escape scrutiny by members. When dad doesn’t come home when he said he would, when dad misses the ball game, when dad misses the ballet; his children begin to resent the church at an early age. They feel that their dad loves others, who are not of his own family, more than he loves them. Brothers, let us keep watch over how we raise our children in the church. Let us be a pastor to our family first and then a pastor to our congregation.

The familiar verse from Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” If your children grow up to love, adore and cherish Christ and His church and become active members in a local body you have succeeded in your ministry. Teach your children that church life is not always problems and tribulations that consume dad’s attention. The church is the Bride for whom Christ gave His life and is the greatest institution on the earth. Raise your children to cherish Christ above everything else, including yourself.

There are several practical things a dad, pastor, can do to teach his children to love the church and the gospel ministry:

1. Spend time with your children. Set aside time each day to spend with your children. Uninterrupted time where you play, talk, read, etc… This time is just as important as when you sit at your desk. Cherish this time and look forward to this time. Let your children know that they have a place in your life as well as others.

2. Don’t discuss church business in front of your kids. This is a dangerous thing to do! You may discuss certain things with your wife, but never discuss church problems and issues in front of your children. They will grow up thinking the church is noting but problems and something that caused daddy pain and heartache.

3. Praise the church in front of your kids. After the Sunday morning service, on the way home, talk about how wonderful the service was. Discuss with your children their favorite portion of the service, their favorite hymn sung, etc…

4. Don’t let your children be an example to the rest of the congregation. Your parenting skills are a process just like the rest of the parents in your congregation. Just because you are a pastor and a man of God does not mean you will be the perfect parent. Don’t set your children on an unrealistic pedestal as an example to the rest of the congregation. Don’t allow your parenting and disciplinary skills be the standard for the other parents in your church.

5. Pray with your children. One of the best things to instill within the heart of your children at an early age is the love of talking to God. Before they go to bed, or at the breakfast or dinner table pray with your children. Teach them to pray from an early age. This will instill a confidence and trust in God. There earthly father may leave them but they will learn to seek a Father that will never leave nor forsake them.

These are just a few practical steps a pastor and his wife can take in raising their children to love the church. This counsel could be used by all Christian parents so that, “when they are old they will not depart from it.”